Alien Obesity: E.T. Phone Fudruckers

In my time I have seen a lot of science fiction movies from the earliest black and whites to modern, colorful CGI SciFi.  I've read weighty periodicals like National Enquirer and The News.  I've seen grainy pics of flying saucers, floating cigars, mysterious lights in the sky, alien autopsies, and Bat Boy (though Bat Boy does not factor prominently in this post).  Through it all, I must say I find it personally disconcerting that there is an undeniable dearth of fat beings from other worlds.  Some may say these fit and healthier societies are the logical result of an advanced civilization.  I question whether their advancement was fueled by a frothy concoction whipped up from the carcasses of euthanized fatties once among them.  As a member of the Universe, I have a right to know if our motto is: "Keep it Lean or Become Soylent Green!" 

I understand why official visitors from other worlds are trim.  Those individuals destined to travel light years across the known universe do require a sufficient level of health to survive the trip.  Plus, let's get real, if you're meeting a whole new species you want to put your best foot forward.  So, you send your alien equivalent of Salma Hayak rather than Roseanne Barr.  And though it's true, Star Wars had Jabba the Hutt, in all fairness we never saw him on a space ship and he wasn't exactly a galactic ambassador. 

The truth in any civilization is that obesity reduces your options in life.  If you're the Rightly Stuffed you don't go on an airplane with impunity, much less the space shuttle.  Jabba the Hutt's existence was fueled by a steady stream of minions to do his bidding...until one bikini-clad slave girl strangled him with the chains of her own shackles leaving the universe shy one plump bookie whose only known crime was collecting on a debt previously incurred by the neglectful actions of one, swarthy and fit, Han Solo.  And yet, Jabba was the bad guy, Han got the girl, and I still don't truthfully understand what Luke got out of the whole thing.  Perhaps that's because Mark Hamill put on a few pounds before filming the final episode of the trilogy.